i’m having a day (or a weekend), so just bare with me…
i never can be sure if i am a friend or if i am a convenience.
i never can be sure if i am doing what i should be doing. what could i be instead?
i never can be sure if i am convincing myself to think one way instead of another.
i never can be sure if i will ever find what i am looking for.
but i know that i will take responsibility for my own actions, and i will not treat people in any way other than how i would like to be treated. i will not blame others for my shortcomings or mistakes. i will not dwell on bad thoughts or feelings - i will learn from them and become a better person.
i will be me, because that is the only thing i can ever really be sure of.
when there’s not you, or you, or you… there’s always me.
“All I can tell you today is what I have learned. What I have discovered as a person in this world… and that is this: you can’t do it alone. As you navigate through the rest of your life, be open to collaboration. Other people and other people’s ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.”—Amy Poehler, Harvard’s 2011 commencement (via birdwings)
i wonder how people feel it is appropriate to lie.
more often than i’d like to admit, people like to make up stories about things, and i think it’s silly.
what’s it going to hurt to be honest about something and tell people what you really think? stop sugar coating things, and just say what you feel. if i can’t count on you, let me know now. you can count on me but i don’t want to waste my loyalty and faith in our friendship if you can’t return the favor.
example: i flew to michigan to be in a wedding. i gave a speech at said wedding. i paid for drinks and breakfast on a different day. i was the ONLY sorority sister to attend a baby shower for someone. that’s just the past few days.
i had a feeling my date for said wedding would bail. even if he really did have food poisoning, i don’t believe it. why should i? fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
if you need me, i will drop everything and try to help you. but please, do the same for me.
i can be your best friend, but i can also be your worst enemy. don’t make me choose.
this has been one of my favorite seasons of biggest loser. i think it’s partly because of the purple team. i think i relate to them because their starting weight was just a little heavier than i was when i graduated college.
i have a love-hate relationship with biggest loser every time a season ends. it’s really for the same reason - they have come so far and made such great strides and i’m jealous. i want to lose a ton of weight in 5 months, even though it’s not really sustainable that way. i don’t have 6-7-8 hours to work out every day. i have maybe one. on a good day.
what i’m saying is… i need to find more time to have more effective workouts and i need to stop making excuses.
i had a super great run last night. it was awesome. a little stiff in my right calf but overall it was encouraging.
last night before i went to sleep, my daydreams (which usually impact night dreams) were all about running and how i felt that soon i will be able to run miles and miles.
i had a dream about running against one of our elite athletes.
this morning i even considered running at lunch.
and then something happened and i have felt kind of sick since about noon. i ate some lunch which may or may not have helped. i have had a bunch of water today. and all i feel like doing right now is going home and lying down.
i want to run, but right now, i don’t think my stomach would make it.
it’s a weird day when i’m realizing how sad and upset i am about NOT running.
i don’t usually go to the bar because i don’t have friends to join me. tonight i went to the bar and met ron. he was cute and said he was attracted to me. even if it was just drunk i think it was funny.