“In order to get people’s attention, you’ve gotta blow a loud trumpet. You’ve gotta beat the drum loudly. And nobody listens to you when you go quietly into the night.”—Oprah Winfrey (on Makers: Women Who Make America)
sometimes i wonder if i should share less [on social media] about how i feel when it comes to issues. it doesn’t take much to look at my facebook or my twitter or my tumblr to determine where i stand on racism or illnesses or vaccinations or political buffoonery. but somehow keeping everything to myself feels like doing nothing. it feels like ignoring it. trust me, i would love to post only/more photos of puppies and lakes and beers and share more articles about superhero movies or things that make me feel happy and tingly, but that’s not always how it works. if you want to follow me, you’re going to have to follow the fun parts and the real world parts that i think are important that often seem overlooked. i wonder why i feel like apologizing for sharing SO much so often, but then i remember that people can just as easily unfollow me if they don’t like how i think or what i have to say. so i’m not sorry. i’m sorry for a lot of things in this world that i have no control over, but i’m not sorry for this.
how is it that i am well-respected professionally, and well-respected (i think) by my friends, but when it comes to the type of relationship i am interested in having (since i am lacking it), i am completely shot down? am i defective? (maybe don’t answer that?)
today i was talking to a friend about life things and she reminded me that it’s OK that i know what i want and to not settle for less.
which in this case means realizing that i am better than a fallback/standby for a dude, and better than someone who doesn’t put me first (which maybe he doesn’t even like me but if he doesn’t then he needs to just GTFO and stop hangin’ out)… and so for now i am just going to stop asking him to come to things and be part of what i am doing because i don’t need someone who is going to waffle around about it.
and i don’t need someone who isn’t going to be impressed that my name was in the sunday new york times and who can’t even figure out life and who doesn’t think i’m pretty (because i might not be to everyone but i should at least be to someone who i am hoping to date) or at least doesn’t say he thinks so.
and i don’t need someone, just anyone, because when i do have “someone” it is going to be someone who gets my sense of humor and who doesn’t care about spending every snowy weekend in the mountains and who understands my love of electronic dance music and who might even dance along even if he thinks it’s silly. and he might be better at some things than me and i might be better at some things too and sometimes we’ll be even steven and it’ll be just how you want to spend your life with someone else.
but i’m not going to spend time on people who clearly don’t have time for me so BYE.
You gotta remember that changing your outside won’t do shit for your inside. If you don’t like and accept yourself now, you won’t like or accept yourself 20lbs up or down from here. Embrace your body, love it, cherish it, accept it, then work on it.
“I just want someone who won’t get annoyed when I text them six times or in all caps. Someone I can go on long drives with and can sing along to the radio with. Someone I can eat pizza with at 2am and kiss at 6pm. Someone who chooses me everyday and never thinks twice about it.”—it might sound cheesy but i do this stuff so…